I can’t help but love Sailor Moon. It is just so fabulous in an astounding number of ways. Now, as a matter of full disclosure, I am not well studied on the original series, but I have seen a few random episodes back in the day. I remember being quite interested. I totally wanted to get into that show, but didn’t really have the time or funds to access it at the time. Over the years I sort of forgot about it. I didn’t ever really try to look it up anymore.

Oh, but now… Now I have my own computer and wireless internet. I have a device that lets me watch internet videos on my TV. And I have Crunchyroll. After re-watching Attack on Titan (yet again) I decided to scroll through for anything that caught my eye. Lo and behold! There is Sailor Moon Crystal! Click, start, and connect, thank you.

I’ve made it through the first season so far and I’m completely hooked. I guess it’s a new iteration of the old story, with some of the original Sailor Guardians having been reincarnated to save the planet. Honestly, I haven’t looked up the original series yet, but I most certainly intend on doing just that.

In Sailor Moon Crystal, it’s a bunch of fourteen-year-old girls who have the Planet Power from their previous lives. A talking moon-cat named Luna gives the girls magic pens with their symbols on the caps. They hold up their pens and say, in English, “Moon prism power make-up!” Or, if it’s Sailor Mercury, she says Mercury instead of Moon, Jupiter says her planet, etc. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how or why English seems to be the “magic language” in Japanese anime.

When Usagi, who is also Sailor Moon, holds up her pen, or touches her magic brooch that the talking cat gave her, and says her magic words, her transformation begins. Usually, she’s in the middle of some deep-shit-trouble when she transforms. The enemy just…stands there and waits? I’m not sure. It’s never really addressed. But Usagi shoots her hand in the air and ping-ping-ping-ping-ping each one of her nails shines bright with a new coat of fingernail polish. Ribbons flood from her brooch and envelope her as she becomes some crazy, see-through portal to the stars. She spins around and becomes solid again so that you can see how her clothes—usually her sailor-suit-type school uniform—have now transformed into a sexier sailor suit. Long red ribbons swirl around her upstretched arms and join together to form white gloves.

Um…okay. We’ll just roll with that. First thing, the magic painted her nails. Now the red ribbons are white gloves. Fine. Next?

Right…Red ribbons wrap around her legs and feet to form red boots. Oh, thank god. Something that makes sense. Eh, in a way. She moves her arms in a graceful manner that’s reminiscent of a ballerina as she spins around again. A bow suddenly pops out of her brooch. It’s a nicer version of the bow that usually adorns her other sailor suit. Her hair has also gotten even longer than it already was and each time she spins, her blonde pigtails swirl around her. She dances around a little bit more before her skirt pops out of her panties. She closes her eyes again, arches her back as she leans back, and drapes her arms as if she’s being held up by some invisible force. She spins around again and a jewel appears on her forehead. From the jewel, grows a circlet that they call a tiara. I’m just gonna let that one go, too. Lights manifest themselves in the buns that she has on top of her head, from which stem her long-ass pigtails.

Sailor Moon salutes, spins around yet again, then says her snappy catchphrase. “The pretty guardian in a sailor suit, guardian of love and justice, Sailor Moon!” She then changes her pose a few more times while she adds, “In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you!”

My absolute favorite catchphrase so far just has to be Mercury’s. “Douse yourself in water, and repent!” Fabulous, darling. Just fabulous.

In the opening music, it says, “Even girls have unshakable wills. We will fight on our own without leaving our destiny to the prince…We are not helpless girls who need the protection of men.” The delicious irony of that is that in at least half of the episodes from the first season, a man keeps saving Sailor Moon. Or, Princess Serenity. Or, Usagi. Usagi-chan. I mean, she’s all of them.

And the guy…he’s, um…Okay, so his name is Mamoru, but he is also Tuxedo Mask. Genius name, right? He wears a tuxedo. And, yes, you guessed it—a mask. But Usagi calls Mamoru, who is the reincarnation of Prince Endymion, Mamo-chan. Also, he calls her Usako. All of the other girls also have numerous names. I guess different ways of saying someone’s name in Japanese denotes different levels of closeness or affection? At least, that’s what I’ve come to assume by watching this show.

Sailor Moon Crystal is a fantastic show. I absolutely can’t get enough. Once I get caught up on it, I’m going to have to stop watching it for a while so that I can binge on it once more have had time to build up. It seems to make watching anime more worth it when you can binge it. Like, TFS DBZ abridged. You can’t just watch one. You have to watch it for hours on end. Then call your friends and quote random lines.

Muffin Button.
Super Kami Guru allows this.
It was nothin’ but Garlic!
I’m going to start beating you now. I don’t know when I’ll stop.