Butcher Box, part two: Success!

It’s time for week two of my Butcher Box adventures!

Who doesn’t love a big, juicy steak? I don’t know…Vegans, I guess. And don’t get me wrong, veggie people—I love a good salad as much as you do. But, I get anemic and need some red meat from time to time. So, yeah. Not ever gonna be a vegan. You keep being you, though. Because for us meat-loving people, there are things like Butcher Box. After much anticipation and trouble, I have finally gotten a box of beef and chicken that I can cook!

It was a much different experience than last time—the first time. First of all, it was shipped so that it would arrive on Friday instead of Saturday. With the notifications I signed up for from FedEx, I knew my shipment would arrive between 12:55 and 4:50. I was just finishing my makeup when my phone dinged at 11 am. My delivery had arrived early. Fucking asshole FedEx guy didn’t bother to knock or ring my bell. He dropped it and ran again. Probably afraid I’d tear him a new one over my last ruined Butcher Box.

I took the huge box inside and tried to set up my webcam for a proper unboxing video. After twenty minutes of bullshit, I gave up and made yet another damned video on my phone. It sucks, but here it is anyway.

After much delay and trouble, I finally got my first usable Butcher Box full of gorgeous steaks.

So, what all came in my box? I got a whole organic chicken, three pounds of boneless skinless chicken thighs, a whole twenty-four ounce tri-tip, a pound of premium steak tips, four six-ounce filet mignon steaks, four six-ounce top sirloin steaks, four ten-ounce boneless ribeye steaks, and six ten-ounce New York Strip steaks.

Also, a ten-ounce package of bacon, but I gave that to my stylist because we don’t eat pork and she did this to me—


But seriously…that is a lot of freaking meat. Almost nineteen pounds of it, actually. I was so excited to get started right away. I threw the tri-tip and the steak tips into a big Ziploc bag and left it in the fridge to thaw. Saturday night, I pulled it out and got it ready to cook the next day to make shredded beef.

For the record, I’ve never cooked a roast before and I didn’t want to accidentally make shredded beef, so I figured I should just make it intentionally. I found a recipe online for a tri-tip in a slow-cooker to use for inspiration. It called for a 4-pound tri-tip cut into four-inch sections. Woooo…that’s a bit much and a bit big. I cut the roast into 2-inch-thick chunks that ended up looking like beautiful steaks. I rubbed them with cayenne pepper and cumin, then set them aside while I prepared the rest.

Into my crockpot, I dumped a can of Rotel, some dried onions, parsley, basil, chives, Wild Garlic Falksalt, pepper, turmeric, and a whole branch worth of rosemary. I can’t list exact amounts because I have a bad habit of not measuring things for savory recipes—I just throw stuff together until it looks good because Grandma taught me to cook by sight, smell, and taste, not by spoons and cups. I mixed in the steak tips, then pushed it off to the side to lay the tri-tip steaks across the bottom of the crock. I smoothed the rest of it back over the steaks and put it in the fridge so the flavors could meld overnight. In the morning, I put it on low and let it cook for thirteen hours while I was at work.

It was a whole new experience with meat.

When I got home, my apartment smelled incredible. The spices and meat had blended into an aroma that made my stomach growl. My mouth was watering  the whole time that I was getting some Aldoha rice started. I then proceeded to shred the beef. Oh, you guys…this meat…this meat, you guys… It wasn’t just that it was tender from the slow cooker. It wasn’t just that it was flavorful from the spices I used. It was a whole new experience when it came to meat. The grain of the meat—the size of the actual muscle fibers—was finer than any roast I’ve ever seen before. It was tender and fell apart, but it was not dry and stripped of flavor like so many overcooked roasts I’ve tasted in my life. This meat was so fresh and happy, it couldn’t find any way to not be delicious.

I had to try more. The next thing I thawed was a package of two ten-ounce New York Strip steaks. Oh, but this is getting a bit long, isn't it? You'll just have to come back next week to read about more of this succulent meat that I got from Butcher Box!